Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
-bean and cheese burritos
-the cha cha slide
-harry potter cake (chocolate inside)
edit, Jan 20:
edit, Jan 21:
-"Aaron's Party," the hit song from Aaron Carter
edit, Jan 28:
-"Mambo No. 5"
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
i need to say the following:
dear charming boy:
it all started when i hand fed you that pie. why i did that is beyond me. am i stupid? yes, the answer is yes because you have a girlfriend. i’ve been the slutty mistress before and it’s not fun, it’s not cute, it’s not becoming. what’s worse though is that i really adored you last quarter but we both send mixed signals and then you got a girlfriend and now you’re constantly texting me smiley faces and telling me good night. stop doing that and start doing that to the girl who is probably sitting right next to you as you text me. she is going to kick my ass if you do not.
sincerely, i’m determined to keep this platonic by carrying silverware and limiting my text winky faces.
dear charming boy (again, on a different note):
thank you for being you. i enjoy spending time with you inside and outside of class. i love that we have compatible senses of humor and i think it’s sweet you want to drive us everywhere (THOUGH YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T DRIVE ME AT ALL, FUCKER)
from, aubrey, your just friend who appreciates your just friendship.
i love you so much and all your light-butter-60-calorie-per-entire-bag-goodness. thank you for being my dinner five out of seven nights a week.
love, the girl who goes through weird six-month food obsessions.
dear new friend i made at that party last weekend:
i don’t remember your name and unfortunately that’s probably because i was 80 percent more drunk than you. but our conversation was entertaining and i wanted to thank you for being patient as i slurred my words and probably made a complete ass of myself.
cheers, your drunk bff who like, isn’t sure what type of music she likes.
i know, i know. you really need to be clean and that’s my responsibility and i failed you. i will abstain and try harder to keep it that way.
respectfully, your irresponsible master.
dear yoga class:
i’m so happy it’s almost break and we can spend a lot more time together.
namaste, looking for my sanity after becoming neurotic during finals week.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
in conjunction with Thanksgiving (hello, favorite holiday ever):
I missed my brother today so I went home and together we made lentil soup from scratch, ate popcorn and watched Lord of the Rings.
I’m thankful for his humor, his understanding of mine and how together we use this combined humor to drive my mother insane. (because sometimes she really deserves it)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Halloween was a rager! If you're a cat lady and only get out for weekly bingo tournaments. (not that there's anything wrong with that). But I ran into a good, old high school friend in a parking lot the other night and we stood in the rain (me in shorts), him with a dead car battery, freezing but happy to talk until 2 am.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Who: Me. and my car, Ladybird.
What: Car fire!
When: today, this afternoon, before my Supreme Court class.
Where: Baker’s drive-thru.
Why: Ladybird is pretty old for Ford standards and she’s been sick for a long time. She’s like a cat with nine lives but this may have been the tenth.
How: Spontaneous combustion?
this happened as I was two or three cars from getting my food. I quickly turned Lady off but then had to turn her back on the get to the window, there were like ten cars behind me, I couldn't just sit there ya know? So then there's me with smoke and a baby flame coming out of Lady, the guy asking "Would you like ketchup or hot sauce?" and me yelling, "Yeah, sure anything!"
so I take this as a sign of fate telling me 1. I should have been in class, 2. I shouldn't have been eating fast food, 3. I shouldn't have been unabashedly playing Tay Swift in public, 4. I should stop exaggerating so much when I don't need to because this happens...
I call my brother, "Kev, are you home? My car's on fire at Baker's."
Him: "I don't believe you, no it's not." which is exactly what happened when I called after T and I got hit by that car last Christmas. "Kevin, are you awake? Trisha and I were just hit by a car."
Him: "No, you weren't"
I only call him first because I know he'll always answer but I hope that when a 'real' emergency occurs, he'll finally forget that time I lied to him when we were small and told him he could fly if he jumped off my bed (he broke his arm) and take me seriously.
Regardless, here's reason #4539786 why my life is a sitcom.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
that time i woke up in a tent with my best friends and was still the same person i was yesterday of last year.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
that one time i wrote a brilliant philosophy essay based on an episode of rugrats and only three minutes of studying.
So there I am every Tuesday at 8 freaking a.m. in discussion with my TA whom absolutely hates me and a bunch of eggheads whom are more than likely taking this class in their spare time. And you know how teachers will give a student a pseudo-pensive "hm...okay" if a student doesn't answer a question correctly or if they are not satisfied with said student's response? Well TA does that to me after EVERYTHING I say. And participation for this class is twenty percent of our overall grade so I have no choice but to make up some bullshit solely to not fail this course. (But realistically, the probability of at least one of my answers being correct can't be zero, which is why I'm completely certain TA hates me.) Meanwhile, Trevor* will follow up my lackluster answer with something insightful, leaving TA and the rest of the class believing that every word that falls from Trevor's mouth is gold, and maybe it is--Trevor's nothing short of brilliant but he's also one of the most attractive men I've ever come into contact with which must count for something. So there's TA at the front of the classroom applauding Trevor, writing what he said on the board and basically telling Trevor to bend over right there so TA can kiss his ass.
Though admittedly I should probably not be so apathetic and make more wise choices but when S is home and there's coffee to drink and havoc to be wrought, of course I'm going to chose that rather than study for the next day's midterm. S and I both agreed that Phil is DUMB and I should just write DUMB for every answer on the midterm. But you see, I may do what I want when I want but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty for doing so (and I really do care a lot about doing well in school). So I got home around midnight and logged into Youtube, typed Kant in the search box and stumbled upon the most brilliant and lifesaving three-minute video ever. It was like everything Trevor ever regurgitated so eloquently was compiled into a short, Microsoft Paint-made video with some weird voice explaining what I taught myself to hate. And so this was all the studying I needed.
I went into midterm feeling pretty confident having remembered everything that video taught me. I breezed through the key terms and short answers section and finally got to the essay portion where we were to pick one of three essay choices. I chose the second because it related to all the examples of the three-minute video but also...to an episode of Rugrats?
So in conclusion, you know how people can "like" really stupid situations on Fbook these days? Well, if I could I would like "that one time I wrote a brilliant philosophy essay based on an episode of Rugrats and three minutes of studying."
Anyway, now I'm gonna go subjectify my body and sell my soul for the sake of science and a hundred bucks!
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent and maintain my secret crush.