Friday, October 8, 2010

an open letter to a broken heart:

because you are my baby cousin and you are hurting and I love you. and I meant every word when I said I want to kick his ass but realistically, there are so many better ways to spend our (your) time and energy.
-Do something you love, something for you. it's cheesy but now's the time to rediscover yourself. remember how you used to love running? run! remember how you've been pretending to like lame comedy/sports movies for him? see a chick flick! see a documentary! see anything with an intelligence level beyond fart jokes and 30-year-old men hung over in Vegas.
-Cry. make a playlist of all your "songs" or songs that are sad or remind you of him and listen to it. listen and cry and be mad and frustrated and angry. it's okay and you'll feel so much better.
-but also, listen to "Breaking Up" by Rilo Kiley and "Fuck You" by Cee-Lo. scream and dance and let it out. your celebration (that's right, this is the best thing to ever happen to you) begins now.
-Find your Parisians, find your David Campbell. and use them. don't use them, but use them. your friends are your biggest allies, your closest confidants and I promise they don't really mind when you ask them for help. they'll be there at midnight when you're lonely and just want to talk and they'll be there to take you on long car drives when you don't feel like talking at all.
-Get hott(er). seriously, what better excuse to get a makeover or go shopping. buy those sexy heels you've been lusting over, buy a new lip gloss just because.
-Ignore the haters. it's true that haters are going hate. mutual friends you thought were your friends may not be. people take sides and people gossip, that's life. ignore it. rise above it. don't stoop to that level, keep your head up and don't always verbalize what you're thinking/feeling. you're so much better than him anyway.
-Pack it up. there's probably stuff all over that reminds you of him. gifts, cards, pictures. don't toss it or burn it, you'll want to look back years from now and laugh at that douche ex boyfriend (also, some memories will always be sweet so don't be bitter) so pack it in a box and put it somewhere you can't see it. fill picture frames with inspirational quotes, pictures of you and your friends and of course, your favorite older cousin.
-Channel your energy. it's so easy to be pissed off but use that energy for something good. never be bitter, never get jaded. and this might be a little redundant but get off the couch you guys sat on every friday night watching the cartoon network and go to the football games, hang out with your friends, volunteer, save that money you spent for fucking taco Tuesday (you don't even like fast food!) and spend it how you want to spend it.
-Embrace this. you're a senior in high school for gosh's sakes! these next few months, this coming year is going to be the best time of your life. you don't have time for petty boys, you need a man who will take care you, stand by you and appreciate you. but don't rush it. savor your independence. nothing good ever fell into someone's lap. work hard in school, be a good person and that man will come to you on his own.

and just think: months from now, it won't hurt anymore. there are so many better looking guys to make out with, go on dates with and have fun with. five years from now, you'll barely remember his name. ten years from now, you'll see him at a high school reunion. he'll be fat and bald and alone. you'll still be fucking gorgeous, you'll be successful, and you'll have someone much better to show off.

but really, you are my baby cousin and I love you and would do anything for you so if you really want me to kick his ass, then only say the word, text me an address, promise to somehow bail me out of jail, and I'm there.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." -Conan O'Brein.

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