Friday, October 29, 2010

single handedly supporting the tow truck industry.

Who: Me. and my car, Ladybird.
What: Car fire!
When: today, this afternoon, before my Supreme Court class.
Where: Baker’s drive-thru.
Why: Ladybird is pretty old for Ford standards and she’s been sick for a long time. She’s like a cat with nine lives but this may have been the tenth.
How: Spontaneous combustion?

this happened as I was two or three cars from getting my food. I quickly turned Lady off but then had to turn her back on the get to the window, there were like ten cars behind me, I couldn't just sit there ya know? So then there's me with smoke and a baby flame coming out of Lady, the guy asking "Would you like ketchup or hot sauce?" and me yelling, "Yeah, sure anything!"
so I take this as a sign of fate telling me 1. I should have been in class, 2. I shouldn't have been eating fast food, 3. I shouldn't have been unabashedly playing Tay Swift in public, 4. I should stop exaggerating so much when I don't need to because this happens...
I call my brother, "Kev, are you home? My car's on fire at Baker's."
Him: "I don't believe you, no it's not." which is exactly what happened when I called after T and I got hit by that car last Christmas. "Kevin, are you awake? Trisha and I were just hit by a car."
Him: "No, you weren't"
I only call him first because I know he'll always answer but I hope that when a 'real' emergency occurs, he'll finally forget that time I lied to him when we were small and told him he could fly if he jumped off my bed (he broke his arm) and take me seriously.

Regardless, here's reason #4539786 why my life is a sitcom.

Monday, October 25, 2010

need a tooth brush?

today i found these gems on my mac. considering i'm still macbook illiterate, they were the best surprise.
i less than three T.R.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

we're those people who run marathons.

morning of, getting ready to go. have i mentioned how i love these individuals more than anything in this world? have i mentioned how incredibly proud i am of all of us?

because i do. and i am.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

run to be.

after hundreds of training miles, two pairs of shoes, mysteriously bleeding feet, protein shakes at 2 am and many naysayers, I DID IT.
the nike women's half marathon was a success and hands down the experience of my life. 'finish line feeling' is the undoubtedly the best drug i've experienced and happy tears were more than welcome as was receiving a tiffany's necklace from a sexy fire fighter and downing a bagel in thirty seconds.

Friday, October 8, 2010

an open letter to a broken heart:

because you are my baby cousin and you are hurting and I love you. and I meant every word when I said I want to kick his ass but realistically, there are so many better ways to spend our (your) time and energy.
-Do something you love, something for you. it's cheesy but now's the time to rediscover yourself. remember how you used to love running? run! remember how you've been pretending to like lame comedy/sports movies for him? see a chick flick! see a documentary! see anything with an intelligence level beyond fart jokes and 30-year-old men hung over in Vegas.
-Cry. make a playlist of all your "songs" or songs that are sad or remind you of him and listen to it. listen and cry and be mad and frustrated and angry. it's okay and you'll feel so much better.
-but also, listen to "Breaking Up" by Rilo Kiley and "Fuck You" by Cee-Lo. scream and dance and let it out. your celebration (that's right, this is the best thing to ever happen to you) begins now.
-Find your Parisians, find your David Campbell. and use them. don't use them, but use them. your friends are your biggest allies, your closest confidants and I promise they don't really mind when you ask them for help. they'll be there at midnight when you're lonely and just want to talk and they'll be there to take you on long car drives when you don't feel like talking at all.
-Get hott(er). seriously, what better excuse to get a makeover or go shopping. buy those sexy heels you've been lusting over, buy a new lip gloss just because.
-Ignore the haters. it's true that haters are going hate. mutual friends you thought were your friends may not be. people take sides and people gossip, that's life. ignore it. rise above it. don't stoop to that level, keep your head up and don't always verbalize what you're thinking/feeling. you're so much better than him anyway.
-Pack it up. there's probably stuff all over that reminds you of him. gifts, cards, pictures. don't toss it or burn it, you'll want to look back years from now and laugh at that douche ex boyfriend (also, some memories will always be sweet so don't be bitter) so pack it in a box and put it somewhere you can't see it. fill picture frames with inspirational quotes, pictures of you and your friends and of course, your favorite older cousin.
-Channel your energy. it's so easy to be pissed off but use that energy for something good. never be bitter, never get jaded. and this might be a little redundant but get off the couch you guys sat on every friday night watching the cartoon network and go to the football games, hang out with your friends, volunteer, save that money you spent for fucking taco Tuesday (you don't even like fast food!) and spend it how you want to spend it.
-Embrace this. you're a senior in high school for gosh's sakes! these next few months, this coming year is going to be the best time of your life. you don't have time for petty boys, you need a man who will take care you, stand by you and appreciate you. but don't rush it. savor your independence. nothing good ever fell into someone's lap. work hard in school, be a good person and that man will come to you on his own.

and just think: months from now, it won't hurt anymore. there are so many better looking guys to make out with, go on dates with and have fun with. five years from now, you'll barely remember his name. ten years from now, you'll see him at a high school reunion. he'll be fat and bald and alone. you'll still be fucking gorgeous, you'll be successful, and you'll have someone much better to show off.

but really, you are my baby cousin and I love you and would do anything for you so if you really want me to kick his ass, then only say the word, text me an address, promise to somehow bail me out of jail, and I'm there.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." -Conan O'Brein.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

that one time i was mistaken for a lesbian.

this is too good to pass up.
so i'm currently attempting to get someone to take over the lease on my apartment because i'm moving on to bigger and better things (ie. gypsy house, stay tuned for details). i posted an ad on craigslist with the information and this exchange student from the UK replies almost immediately.
i tell her i can send pictures later if she's interested. my intent was pictures of the apartment. she took this as me hitting on her and wrote "thanks aubrey, i appreciate your candor" and went on to explain that she's single, straight but also gay friendly. and then she signed it with, "p.s. i have all the pics i need."
biggest fail.

this one's up there with the great 2008 rejection letter incident from UC Merced when i didn't even apply. my life is a sitcom.

Monday, October 4, 2010

come on alex, you can do it!

1. Arcade Fire on stage. Campanile in the background.
2. More on stage time.
3. On the Golden Gate! Helpline for possible jumpers. (my perceptions of The Bridge came to life)
4. View of the pillar. It was super cold and drizzly and there was a breast cancer awareness marathon going on.
This weekend involved a quick turn around trip to Berkeley for the Arcade Fire concert. In between a whole bunch of awkwardness, we squeezed in a journey to San Fran complete with obligatory tourist destinations and tons of walking. Spent some time with the Berkelian Parisians, caught a movie and festivities with Best Friend, and saw AF Sunday night. They are arguably the best live band. I would have loved to have been in the pit with all the standing people but you know, awkwardness. AND THEN we drove all the way back, arriving in Inland Empire at 5am, in time for class Monday morning. But of course I fell asleep at 7am, woke up at almost 1 with a class and an unfinished paper due at 2. But boy can I write under pressure!