Friday, September 10, 2010

that one time i woke up looking strangely like...rihanna.

Not to make light of a very serious incident but the other day I woke up looking like Rihanna circa February 2009 post-Chris Brown beating. Unfortunately and thankfully the picture does not show the full extent of my ugly swollen puffiness but it's just one of my many tragic bodily functions (bleeding feet, night eating, you know): every so often I wake up with an allergic reaction. This time I think Nyquil is to blame. Used as a cure for colds or for insomnia, if I really am allergic to Nyquil, the world of Aubrey will get just a little bit sadder.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

confessions of a closeted smoker.

Meet my friend Blake*. He is an obsessive, addicted smoker of marlboro reds. He has somehow managed to hide this fact from his poor unsuspecting parents for the past three years.
To avoid being caught with the scent of cigarette on his hand, he often wears a glove (see below picture).
(Note the gold watch over the glove. Always classy.) He wears this while we are in public and it's really creepy and it's really embarrassing.
When not in public, he often comes over to my house and wraps his fingers in plastic with painting tape. And I wonder why I'm his friend every day...
*name has been changed to protect the innocent, though if you're reading this you're most likely my close friend and most likely know exactly who is photographed.

Friday, September 3, 2010

what scares me most.

i was asked what i was most afraid of in a job interview the other day. WHAT THE WHAT?! i offered some lame answer about the economy and global warming, whatever came to mind superficially. but really, i am most afraid of the moment in time where i look at a picture from high school or college or early adulthood and don't remember. when i have to scan my brain to put a name to the face, "OH! that's her. we were really good friends in high school."