Monday, March 22, 2010

it's all pretty fuckin' bleak.

i am your future and i'm here to tell you it's all pretty fucking bleak.
like the pancake mix you realize expired when you were a junior in high school but you eat anyway just like you eat your feelings after a bad movie you watched while high and nostalgic for a boy you once knew in a time period that exists only in picture frames.
like how the sun fades from the rear view mirror of a car that holds nothing but you, your best friend and the receipt from the abortion clinic that's too loaded to fit inside the closet where skeletons tend to play hide and seek.
like when you're on your sixth cup of coffee and you're crying for how beautiful this scene of friends must look from afar at an ihop at eleven pm when nothing matters much except that idea she's planning on thinking of writing for a novel of a trip she once took.
like how you go to use your debit card and it's declined and the girl asks if you want to try again, as if being rejected once wasn't bad enough and damn that mother fucker if he stands you up again.
like how he's laying with his head in your lap taking a drag of one of the american spirits you had to get with a license that's four years and two months past the time they should have asked for it now that you're hoping for more than just a cigarette between your lips.
like how you all collectively feel so trivial in working for that wallpaper degree in english/biology/economics that's really only promising you 10+ years of debt if you make it past the five year pact that's so appealing to break now that you're twenty and have seen too much but understand so little.
like when it's one in the morning and you still haven't brushed your teeth because you threw your toothbrush away this morning thinking you would get another. and you to sleep anyway, knowing that it's more than a teeth cleaning device in that trash can: it's your life and it's all pretty fucking bleak.

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