Monday, January 4, 2010
it's not a miracle we needed.
I must admit the other night Best Friend and I were up to no good and driving and driving as usual, blasting gangster rap though we are not. And I'm telling him things I shouldn't; things I shouldn't ever tell a boy I am not romantically involved with, or maybe not anyone at all. But I was so angry and frustrated and confused by everything the world contains. And I'm just a speck. He and I, we're just specks. But he is sad and I am concerned and I will always love love this boy for no reason because I couldn't tell you why. And then he asks me what's really going on. We're at a stop light now and I get shaky and jittery like I usually do. The forehead beneath my bangs is a little wet and I play with my hands- a telltale sign that I'm thinking too much and afraid of what might come out of my mouth. So I say it's not a huge deal and I don't understand why I am getting so many lectures about it. He says he's not lecturing, just wondering, protecting. We're laughing now, my car is going through a vortex, my brain is disconnected and floating, and we stare in wonder at the amorphous skunks.