letters i wish i could receive but probably never will.

dear aubrey,

i know you hate me and are already kicking yourself in the ass for enrolling in a new section but have you realized law is largely philosophy-based? maybe you should get over it and suck it up, just sayin'.

hang in there, your new phil class.

dear sexy aubrey,

i saw you creeping in the store the other day without buying anything. yes, i was working and yes, my line was the longest and not worth going through the trouble to find something to buy just so you could talk to me. i'm glad you took my suggestion on the heritage oranges yesterday though.

come back soon, sexy trader joe's cash register operator.

dear aub,

you're taking us out so often and we love it! our tread is already wearing out so hopefully we won't need to be replaced soon.

faithfully, your running shoes.

dear aubrey,

hurry up and schedule an appointment already so i can give you a head and neck message and we can bond over how mortifying it is when people tag horrible pictures of us on fbook. oh, and i know you went home and fbook stalked me last time. sorry my profile is friends only, i still love you.

see you monday, shane, your hairstylist.

dearest aubrey,

i'm so happy you rearranged your room so that you can wake up in my glory and forget how nice it was to actually sleep during spring break and how you can't do that anymore.

love, the morning sunshine.

dear aubrey,

i am sorry i made you so sick yesterday. not sure why i did but it will never happen again.

drink up, coffee.