you shall know our velocity

ashley, sean, and i took a road trip this past weekend. where did we go? berkeley of course.it was lovely and made me realize how much i love and miss the berkelians.
really great events that occured:
-running up the street to meet the berks, yelling hugging, and in my case, crying. i am emotional about everything.
-dragging the rickshaw everywhere and getting stuck on an escalator.
-festivities at anais' apartment.
-sean wanting to be "taken away" by the rickshaw and then a skateboard
-meeting trisha's co-op friends! and seeing the co-op itself. so perfect.
-zibabwe and saving three dollars and the friends we acquired outside.
-julie saving the day again as we were evicted.
-julie and shilpa's apartment, their new futon, and their cute kitchen with the window i'm obssessed with.
-business as usual with david even though we were apart for a week. coffee, analyzing, secrets.
-the marina! and all the walking adventures
-clark kerr and its huge glory.
-david's lame roommates.
-almost vomitting in front of david's dorm because of my meds.
-class with david, i owned him at chemistry, thanks in part to 'chemistry for everyone.'
-the drive. part of the novelty is always the drive for me. included beyonce, cuban rap, and of course the music that so well defines us parisians.

"oh no, now we're john donning beyonce."
Thank you Berkeley!

i am blessed

i am blessed to have amazing friends who 1.) invite me for studying and coffee only to allow it turn into me complain about everything, 2.) go eat donuts with me, stalk with me, and sit in the dark with me, 3.) call me back even though i'm incoherent and hysterical, 4.) text me jokes all night long to make me laugh even if he needs/wants sleep.
i am blessed to have a younger brother to be silly with.
i am blessed to have a warm bed that loves me regardless.
i am blessed to be healthy with a body that does not mind the arduous bike rides and does not stay sore forever.
i am blessed to be going on two road trips in the coming weeks that will be incredible.
i am blessed to be moving into a home of my own soon (14 days!) with a girl i adore.
i am blessed to have a new goal to be excited about and to work towards.
i am blessed to have beautiful days everyday even if i fail to realize them sometimes.

dear month of august,

you are passing by entirely too quickly and subsequently taking all my friends with you. please stop.







































i miss them all already. but don't fret, i shall see these Berkelians in six days!

when happiness moves back to fresno...

i usually run to her house early in the morning, sans makeup and creepy looking, to ambush her with hugs and a camera in her face. i love her so very much. she's taking a fraction of my heart with her to cow land.

king of pentacles, here's to heart disease!

ventured downtown with the goal of causing bodily harm and with five dollars, extra chocolate sauce. and all around deliciousness we succeeded. behold the glory that is the deep fried chocolate chip cookie dough.

* note our excitement even through the blurriness of these photos. we were quite happy.and of course the night wouldn't be complete without antics from our ridiculous friends, tarot cards, loitering at coffee shops, gossip, hanging out in parking lots, and generally being a nuisance. i hope all your days are beautiful too.

worth a thousand words

so we really really struggled to take a family portrait.
success..?

pedophile or podiatrist?

the beach was quite lovely. i was the copilot, we played a rousing game of 'would you rather,' friends in the back seat became sleepy, we ate amazing mexican food, and oh yeah, we sang jason mraz to sean.

you can hear me not know the words. nice.

connect five?

10 Years Ago...
i was 9. i was into pop music, animals, and putting on plays/dance recitals for my mom.
5 things on my to do list... (i obviously still have a month and half of summer, ugh)
1.) sew pillows and mend clothes
2.) read lots of books
3.) ride my bike a lot
4.) learn some new recipes
5.) figure out school and life stuff
5 snacks I enjoy...
1.) cherries
2.) whole grain wheat thins
3.) nectarines
4.) carrots with dill dip
5.) scones
5 favorite things...
1.) best friends
2.) adventures
3.) pretty dresses
4.) sabon's dead sea salt scrub
5.) secrets
5 places I have lived...
1.) st. paul, minnesota
2.) little canada, minnesota
3.) yucaipa, california
4.) redlands, california
5.) santa cruz, california
5 things most people don't know about me...
1.) i have a really difficult time taking naps so i don't.
2.) i'm extremely ritualistic when it comes to hygiene.
3.) i love watching the morning talk shows. i might be a middle aged woman.
4.) i love when people argue in french. it's amazing.
5.) i love gummy anything and i don't mind sharing with you so just ask, i'm sure i have a bag of gummy spaghetti in my purse.

here's to happiness

So when I get upset I write letters. Of course these recipients of the angry letters will never actually see them, it makes me feel as though while I write he or she is hearing the ink that touches the paper. I was so disappointed last night so I wrote a letter. But in lieu of something negative, here is a list of things that make me really really happy.List of ten things that make me terribly happy
1.) spending hours in coffee shops with good books
2.) a nice chunk of soft french bread
3.) black and white photographs
4.) feeling like i might die while cycling but finishing the ride anyway
5.) the security of hugs from my man friends
6.) reading old journal entries and laughing at myself
7.) freshly washed sheets
8.) listening to a favorite song
9.) laughing over absolutely nothing
10.) crisp, foggy mornings

public service announcement:

my best friend turns eighteen today.
David Charles Campbell,
The way in which we became friends still remains a mystery to me. Newspaper was a deciding factor of course, but how you became a semi-permanent fixture in my red bubble car and how you ended up coming home with me everyday after school and how you became known as 'Dahveed Campbell' in my phone--it's all a mystery to me.
You were awkward and fifteen and the awkward sixteen-year-old me knew that something great in the name of friendship was about to occur. And we thought we were so cool, riding around in my ridiculously over-heated car, taking adventures to buy cheap horrible cds at Big Lots and the Warehouse. The sweet sounds of the faux-lesbian duo T.a.T.u filled our lives, as did spending hours on end at Barnes and Noble reading AP/SAT prep books and really really (at least to me) boring nature encyclopedias. And we would go to Ford Park with fruit from Trader Joe's and I would trade you some of my mango for some of your pomegranate and we would talk about Mr. Belk because he's probably the best man to ever live and we would pine ways to win our then significant others' affections and we would make fun of people who made fun of us.
You turned sixteen and we had your party at Bjs with random people from newspaper and we ate a lot of pizza and you wore the Hannah Montanna wig, of course. During our junior/senior years we became much more sophisticated and did all the usual stuff but by then the employees at Coffee Bean knew our names and we talked more about philosophy and you copied my AP U.S. homework and we were so disappointed to find out that T.a.T.u were indeed fake lesbians. We went to more parks and spent a lot of time sitting in cars at night and freaking out when bubble car stalled in front of the Watchers' house. We loved newspaper, State Street deli, Slugworth, and became completely infatuated with a man named Instructor Antonio C. Curtis. We ditched class for Mama Mia, sent each other mega text messages late at night when one or both of us seemed to be having a meltdown, yelled at Mrs. Shineral as we drove past RHS, and crashed into the curb that one time when it was really hot. At some point I left for college and when I'd come home, we'd gossip more and learned to smoke cigarettes together.
And things haven't changed; you're the one person that I know I will always have even when everyone else has gotten sick of my randomness, my mood swings, my analyzing of every single little thing, and the way I cannot stop talking about whatever my current obsessions are for the month, or even the year. And now you are turning eighteen, and I feel like I've already accepted this because eighteen is synonymous with maturity, thus I have started referring to you as "my friend Dave." And I'm writing you this 892847 word essay on why I love you and why you can't ever leave me because I might as well just stop breathing so I'll end it soon, I promise.
I everything you. More than anything in the entire world. Thank you for three beautiful years of laughter, love, fun, lots of driving, comfort, support, learning, friendship, acceptance, etc. You've helped me realize so much about this world and so much about myself, thank you. So, in conclusion...

Above: Beginning of summer '09 and beg. of summer '08, exactly one year apart.

Happy birthday frog pussy.

Virginia is for Mason

California lost one of its shining stars today. Ivy left us for Virginia. She's off to change the world by spreading the liturgy of the Libertarian word. I miss her already.

Bottle opener? Can opener? I've got a lighter.

"Maybe it's just more sunny than hot."

Weed, next three exits

I was fortunate enough to accompany my three man friends on their road trip up north last week.

First destination: Sacramento. Long story short, I was to be staying there though after a series of unfortunate events I drove my best friend’s car (which was then dubbed ‘Get Away Car’) to Berkeley on Tuesday night where my two ailing friends and I were taken in by possibly the kindest person in the world. In & Out at eleven p.m. never tasted better and almost getting to use a space blanket (tin foil) made my night.

Second destination: Berkeley. Man friends left the following morning. Their destination was Oregon and I was reluctant to see them go. The rest of my week in Berkeley was awesome though, and included the following: Julie, bookstores, thrift stores, beer pong, writing letters, writing anything, Dave Eggers, nature jogs, freezing yet perfect weather, Forrest Gump look-a-like, stolen newspapers, hardwood floors, gummy bears, etc.

Third destination: Ride home. The lone friend in Sacramento makes the pilgrimage to Berkeley to pick me up and take me home. He arrives with the awkward Sacramento kid we stayed with and whom I was never really introduced to and a baby duck. I sit in the back seat with the baby duck. The normally seven hour drive takes us almost nine because we stop at Target, several McDonald’s, a couple gas stations, and a lake. I get home at one a.m. smelling pretty badly, feeling blood clotty from sitting for so long, and annoyed with ducks.

Oh, California Woodstock!
[P.S. I realize I change tenses midway through this post. Forgive that.]

Little Letters

Dear stolen ipod,
I seriously miss you. I hope you are in a good place (though you’re most likely not).

Dear weekend boyfriend/asshole,
Okay so I take back some of what I said. You are still adorable, I am still alive, and it was truly fun while it lasted. Also, I feel like you’ll be a recurring theme in my life so I shall see you soon.

Dear body,
I apologize for abusing you/causing you so much harm this past week. Give me a couple days to get you healthy again.

Dear David,
I miss you, come back from Oregon already. We need to swap stories and see what you remember.

Dear Julie, Anais, and the general city of Berkeley,
Thank you for saving me. I owe you more than you realize.

Dear eyebrows,
Prepare to get tweezed.

and Dear dying plant in my room,
Please come back to life! I’m sorry for neglecting you.